


1000 Pickup Lines for Dummies

by DeadlyNova



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Pick-Up Lines, Russel is Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 09:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyNova/pseuds/DeadlyNova
Summary: They were on Russel's bed, and you know, the night could have been romantic, but despite the fact that 2-D was laying inches from him, on his side, his shirt riding up, and looking absolutely tempting in a way that only he could manage....the mood? Ruined.





	1000 Pickup Lines for Dummies

It was a calm Sunday afternoon. Well, as calm as a Sunday afternoon could get in this house, anyway. Noodle was in her room meditating, Murdoc was god knows where, and Russel and 2-D were in the kitchen. Russel thought it was honestly the ideal day. Nothing bad or even mildly inconvenient had happened that day(probably because Murdoc had not been present for most of it), and he hoped he could cherish it for however much longer it would last.

The aura in the kitchen right now was even more calming than the rest of the day had been, with soft, peaceful tunes coming from the beat up old radio on the table, 2-D humming along quietly, occasionally tapping his fingers when the songs got a little more upbeat. Sometimes Russel would glance over at him from his position at the stovetop to find him smiling lazily at him through half-lidded eyes, a joint hanging loosely from his fingers.

The near-silence lasted a little while longer, Russel having completely busied himself with cooking dinner. When 2-D finally spoke, he almost didn't hear him.  
  
"Hey, Russ?"

"Hm?" Russel stared down at the green beans cooking on the stove, only half acknowledging his boyfriend.

"Are you a highway? 'Cause I wanna ride ya all night long."

Russel turned around rapidly, taking in 2-D's grin and watching as he finished the line off with a wink.

"W-what?"

"I know y'er busy today, but can ya add me to your to-do list?"

"You hittin' me with pickup lines? C'mon, man....that's so cheesy." Russel had recovered from his shock. Pickup lines? Really?

"If nothin' lasts forever, will ya be my nothin'?"

Okay, that one was actually kind of sweet. Kind of.

Russel laughed.

"Okay, okay. Real cute, 'D."

2-D's grin grew.

"Do ya like 'em, Russ?" He leaned back in his chair. "Been practicin' sayin' 'em in the mirror."

"You put that much into some pickup lines?"

"I got more! Wanna hear??"

"Later. Food's ready. Fetch Noodle, would ya?"

* * *

 

Their meal went by pickup line free, and Russel was secretly thankful for that. He didn't know how well he would handle it if 2-D said something too wild and he almost choked, which would provoke a very frantic 2-D and Noodle snickering at him from behind her hand. A similar situation under different circumstance had totally _never_ happened before. Never.

But once they were alone again, oh boy, 2-D was free to spout whatever nonsensical lines he could think of, and Russel totally saw it coming this time.

At least he thought he did.

He didn't expect him to start off with something so..bold, though.

"Ya know, Russ....The only STD I got right now is sexually transmitted desire..for you."

"That's...that's nice, 'D."

They were on Russel's bed, and you know, the night _could_ have been romantic, but despite the fact that 2-D was laying inches from him, on his side, his shirt riding up, and looking absolutely tempting in a way that only he could manage....the mood? Ruined.

2-D looked like he was trying his hardest not to laugh, a lazy grin forming instead as he lolled his head to the side.

"Thought that one was funny." Russel could hear the almost-laugh in his voice, and found himself almost laughing, too.

"What's with the sudden interest in these pickup lines?"

"I found me a book!" 2-D's smile grew. "I's called...uhh...somefin' like...'1000 Pickup Lines for Dummies'..I fink..."

"Got any more...appropriate ones?"

"Yeah!" He looked like he was wracking his brain for a moment before continuing. "You...you must be a snowflake, 'cause...'cause I've fallen for you."

Russel smiled. "I like that one."

2-D's grin softened into a sweet smile. He made himself more comfortable, still laying on his side, but crossing his arms on the bed and resting his head on top of them.

"Even if there weren't any gravity on Earth, I'd still fall for you."

Russel beamed down at him, laying down as well to face his boyfriend. "You're cute."

"Aww, Russ....you're so sweet, you're givin' me a toothache!"

Russel laughed out loud this time. He reached out an arm and wrapped it around 2-D, pulling him closer.

The taller man buried his face in Russel's chest, throwing an arm over his side. He inhaled deeply, and the two of them were silent for one long, peaceful moment.

Until 2-D ruined it with another god-awful pickup line.

"Russel?"

"Hm?"

"My love for you is like diarrhea, I jus' can't hold it in!"

He erupted into a fit of giggles, and Russel was just...done.

First thing in the morning he was hiding that book.


End file.
